A world made of ice
by UndeadFae
Summary: There's a kid in the hospital that caught Taiyou's interest. It doesn't matter how sad and lonely he looked, Taiyou was determined to become his friend and make him smile again, and nothing will make him stop trying, no matter how much it would take to make the walls of ice he built to protect his heart crumble.


Hospitals aren't exactly known for their normality. For being scary places filled with doctors, needles and illness? Sure. Normal? Not really- just ask the guy from the night shift.

This one, a few accident patients aside, was usually a surprisingly quiet hospital... until one of the kids decided to let himself be known as the problem child of the pediatric ward, driving the less patient nurses up a wall with his sheer stubbornness alone and testing everyone else's patience- and even sanity at times.

It wasn't really his fault- Taiyou only wanted to play soccer, even if none of the other hospitalized kids could -or wanted to- join him and he had to spend hours upon hours practicing alone, so what if he was all sore when he was done? He could live with that. The doctors seemed to think otherwise.

It was another day of boring, tedious tests, and as expected, Taiyou bolted from his room at the sole mention, dead set on avoiding those dreaded tests with all the might and determination his tiny, sickly body was capable of holding. Surprisingly more than expected, given his condition. Not that all the running around really helped him.

Once he lost the poor nurse in charge of taking care of him for the day, Taiyou found his chance to hide- he just had to wait and hope they gave up on finding him and then sneak outside to play, simple. And with that genius plan laid out, he took a look around before deciding to go for the nearest room he could find.

After rushing inside as quickly as possible, Taiyou made sure of closing the door behind him as quietly as he could, silently snickering to himself hearing the muffled voices of nurses pass by, not even thinking of stopping to check that room. Of course he could escape them, after all the time he's been stuck in a hospital he took pride in mastering the art of escaping doctors and nurses alike.

"... Who... are you?"

Whoops. In his rush to escape the dreaded exams, Taiyou didn't even realize the room he just carelessly barged into was already occupied. Turning to properly face the bed, he found a kid around his age sitting in it and wrapped in thick blankets and a fluffy scarf, an arm secured in a cast and band aids covering the smaller injuries. He wondered what happened to him, almost letting the question slip out before he stopped himself, remembering that not everyone liked to talk about it.

Unbothered by the fact that he should probably leave and at least go back to his own room, Taiyou got closer to the bed, a bright smile on his face as he took seat next to it without a care in the world.

"I'm Amemiya Taiyou, nice to meet you! And you? What's your name?"

"... Fubuki Shirou..."

Whatever else Taiyou was about to say was quickly forgotten once the door opened, a very irritated nurse stepping in and ready to give him the scolding of his life. Apparently help was enlisted to find the problem child, and she was not happy with looking for him all over the hospital. A nervous goodbye later, Taiyou was back with the nurse in charge of him for the day, grumbling and pouting as they made their way to the doctor.

"Taiyou, I know you're bored and want to make friends, but please don't disturb that kid, ok?" She looked at him expectantly, but for a moment he didn't reply, face scrunched in thought, as if he was trying to figure out something that didn't quite add up.

"But he looks lonely. Why can't I be his friend?" At that, the nurse went quiet, looking anywhere but at the confused child still waiting for an answer. It had already been hard enough to explain the tragic situation to little Shirou, yet telling Taiyou that it was something he'd understand in a few years would hardly be a satisfying answer for him.

"He... he's having a really rough time, and his family can't be here for him." The 'not anymore' almost slipping out went unsaid.

"Then I can keep him company instead!" The quite serious pout on his face already spoke volumes on his determination to accomplish his mission. It was impossible not to smile in the face of such childishly adorable determination.

"How about we take you to do your tests and then we ask Shirou if he wants some company?" She knew he at least needed someone that would genuinely try to help without pitying him, Lord knows the kid has been through enough already to be constantly reminded of that accident too. Taiyou grumbled a half hearted yes, as if he was really hoping that the conversation was distraction enough to make her forget about those stupid tests.

* * *

Fubuki had agreed to the new company with a soft, somewhat insecure nod- if he really didn't want to be alone or just didn't want to say no, the nurse honestly wasn't sure. That hesitant answer had been enough for Taiyou to stick to the new kid like super glue fresh out of the tube, though.

* * *

"Um... Do you like... to read...?" Admittedly, once the excitement had partially wore off, Taiyou found himself at loss; what was he supposed to do exactly? Just sitting there to not leave Fubuki alone sounded even more boring than the doctor's tests, and far from what Fubuki needed. As much as he wanted to start rambling about soccer right away, he decided to try and hold himself back at least a little. With how distracted and sad this kid looked, maybe it was for the best to start slowly and figure out what he liked first. That sounded like a plan.

Now if only he could get an answer.

It took a few more tries to get a tiny no out of Fubuki, and then he curled up further into his blanket, as if it was a shield to hide him from the world.

Maybe it was how utterly desolated he looked, but something in that sight urged Taiyou to keep trying, to not give up on him so soon. And that was what he did. When Fubuki refused something or looked too uneasy to even reply, Taiyou quickly dropped it and moved on to the next activity or game he could think of. Despite his determination, finding something, anything Fubuki wanted to do was proving to be near impossible. Not like that would convince him to give up.

It was time to try his secret weapon then- and who cared if it was just his old ball, secret weapon sounded way cooler.

And that was how Taiyou carefully sneaked his ball from his room to Fubuki's, avoiding all the hospital staff -he'd probably be grounded for the rest of his stay if they caught him not only sneaking out, but trying to drag another patient into it- with the wisdom and skill that only the most dangerous experience could give. Maybe those tests did help with something after all.

"Do you like soccer?"

When the ball was almost shoved into his face, Fubuki only stared at it, completely at loss. He... did like soccer, more than almost anything else, but that... that was when Atsuya would play with him, wait for him to steal the ball so he could score, the other half of the perfect duo they formed. When Atsuya was still there, not frozen and buried under 5 feet of snow.

It wasn't fair.

Did he even have a right to play soccer anymore when Atsuya couldn't?

_Would Atsuya want you to give up so quickly?_

... No. Atsuya wouldn't give up- or let him give up. If anything, Fubuki was pretty sure that, had their situation been inversed, Atsuya would be angrily kicking the ball so hard it would start to leave cracks on the wall and scare people off.

The pain didn't ease with that thought, far from it.

He still wasn't sure what to make of this- he didn't even know if he *wanted* to play soccer again, but... maybe he could still try, at least for a little while. He was tired of sitting in bed and replaying that day in his head.

"... I... I'm a defender..." If possible, the smile on Taiyou's face widened- and how could it not? Not only he found another kid who liked soccer, but he apparently knew how to play too! In that boring little hospital, it might've been the same as a god descending from the heavens just to play soccer with him. Ok, maybe he was being just a little overdramatic, but could anyone blame him?

"Then let's go play!" It looked like Taiyou was trying his hardest to contain his excitement and not bounce all over the room. Fubuki almost agreed too, unwilling to turn him down when he was so happy, but then the weight on his arm brought him back to reality. For a moment, he glanced down at his cast, before looking back at Taiyou.

"But I can't play with this..." Taiyou was apparently only now realizing that a cast might get in the way. He pouted, completely focused on thinking- he had finally gotten Fubuki to agree to do something, something they both clearly loved, no way he was just going to give up because of a stupid cast.

"But if we're very careful and don't kick the ball too hard it shouldn't be a problem, right? It's not like we need to use our arms if we're not the keepers." Well, he did have a point there. Maybe there was no harm in trying.

On the bright side, Taiyou had been super careful to not get Fubuki hurt- and it worked too, the ball never even getting close enough to hit Fubuki's arm. On the not so bright side, the nurses found them after scarcely an hour into their game and gave them the scolding of their lives ('You both are supposed to rest, why are you out here playing when you should be in bed') Taiyou also seemed to coincidentally forget to mention his own medical condition and limits.

The shy hints of a smile on Fubuki's face even after they had been dragged back inside had been completely worth the lecture.

* * *

"Hey Fubuki, what else do you like besides soccer?"

"... I... I like snowboarding... and skating... and skiing..."

"Wait- do you practice all that?"

"... Yes?"

"That's so cool!"

"It's... nothing..."

"But it is! Will you show me some of those one day?"

"... Ok."

* * *

Sitting on a chair near the window, arms resting over his ball and face almost glued to the glass, Taiyou pouted and glared at the cloudy sky like it had personally insulted him, his family and his pet. Fubuki had been quietly observing him from his position cross-legged on the bed, gladly hoarding all the blankets he had found as a shield against the cold. At least the rain would force Taiyou to stay inside for once instead of sneaking around to play.

"You know it's not the sky's fault that it had to rain, right...?"

"But I wanted to play..." Now Taiyou was pouting harder than before. Somehow it was possible.

"There's always tomorrow f-"

Whatever else Fubuki had wanted to say, the sudden flash of blinding white and following thunder silenced him almost immediately. The lightning had been enough to finally convince Taiyou to stay inside at least, rubbing his eyes to get rid of those annoying little white spots as he left his seat near the window.

"I guess... maybe if I just kick the ball here a bit... what if we try and practice some small passes-?" When he turned to look at his friend, Taiyou knew something was wrong; he was deadly pale, breath alarmingly quickening, eyes wide and unfocused already filling with tears and body shaking like a leaf. He didn't hesitate to drop his ball and rush to Fubuki's side, doing his best effort to not startle the already frightened child with his presence alone. In his panic and rush to help, he barely remembered to press the button near the bed, two nurses arriving soon after. When one of them gently ushered him out of the room, he almost wanted to protest, to stay there and help his friend, but finally, he begrudgingly let her guide him out, knowing there was little he could do now. With one last, worried glance at the still shaking child, Taiyou left the room.

* * *

"What's wrong with Shirou...?" Sitting on a chair nearby, Taiyou had been quietly swinging his legs for a while, gaze fixed to the floor. At first, he had been too worried thinking about Fubuki and trying to wrap his mind around what just happened to say anything, until the concern for his friend was too much to keep quiet- he needed to know, and he needed it now. The nurse that had gently led him out of the room looked at him with a pained smile before kneeling in front of him to meet his eyes, her tone soft and kind.

"It was a panic attack. Do you know what those are?" When the child shook his head in confusion, she kept explaining. "It's something that can happen when something scares a person really bad, so bad that they can't think or act properly. Something really scared Fubuki-kun and made him remember a bad experience, and that triggered a panic attack." Hearing that, something clicked in Taiyou's mind, his eyes widening as understanding settled in.

"The thunder... he stopped talking when the thunder..." He trailed off, and then he frowned, looking back at the nurse with that serious determination glinting in his eyes. "Can I help him when he has a panic attack?"

"You should always call one of us whenever something like this happens, but I can teach you what to do while waiting for us, ok?" That seemed to be enough to satisfy him, eagerly nodding before sitting down to listen, completely focused on what she had to say.

* * *

"Hey, Shirou... I hope you're resting and having nice dreams... you don't have to be scared, ok? I'm here and I'll help you, I promise! So don't worry about whatever happened to you, because I won't leave you alone, that's what friends are for, right?"

"... I have to go to sleep too now... good night..."

* * *

If there was one thing Taiyou really didn't like about Fubuki, it was how easily his friend could disappear like he had never been there in the first place. Seriously, no kid should be able to hide so well, it was almost creepy.

Early in the morning right after breakfast, Fubuki had shyly asked if he could borrow his ball for a while. As much as Taiyou wanted to go with him, he knew the nurses would be particularly insistent that day with a few of the weekly tests coming up; as much as he hated it, he had no choice but to go with them for however long it would take, so sure, there wouldn't be a problem with Fubuki taking his ball, right?

Except now that he was finally free only a few hours later, finding his friend was proving to be near impossible. Apparently he didn't know all of the hospital's spots to hide and play, because there was no way Fubuki would be so hard to find otherwise.

The sudden gust of cold wind made him almost quit his search- the hospital pajamas might be comfy and warm, but they definitely weren't suited for such a cold weather. Then, he realized that wherever he was, Fubuki must be outside too, which meant he would get cold too, and he resumed his search more frantically than before.

He might try and take any chance he could find to play soccer, but he wasn't stupid, he knew when it would definitely be bad to try.

It only took him scouting the hospital's garden and surroundings twice, but Taiyou finally found Fubuki in a corner he definitely remembered checking before. The other kid looked a bit out of breath, but surprisingly unaffected by the odd weather. Weird.

"Hey, Shirou!" If Taiyou noticed how startled he looked at the sudden yell, as if just snapping out of whatever was going on in his mind, he wisely didn't mention it. "What are you still doing out here? It's freezing! And it's almost lunch time!"

"S-sorry... I..." Unsure of what else to say, Fubuki quietly fidgeted with his scarf, his gaze fixed on the ground, apparently much more interested in the patterns the ice formed on the grass.

"It's alright!" Taiyou's smile was so bright it could've melted snow and ice alike. "But maybe we should go inside for today... why is it so cold here?" For a moment, he shivered, rubbing his arms like that alone could keep him warm. Then, his eyes fell on the ball almost forgotten at Fubuki's feet.

"Maybe we can ask someone to give us some hot chocol- woah!" As soon as his hands touched the ball, he dropped it like a hot potato- or a block of ice. That might be a better comparison. "I-it's freezing!" It wasn't an exaggeration either.

Softly murmuring yet another apology -they'd have to get him out of that habit sooner or later, really-, Fubuki picked up the ball without even flinching at the bitter cold. It made Taiyou almost wonder if he imagined it, but a hesitant poke quickly proved that thought wrong. Another thing to add to the list of weird things of the day.

"Are... are you ok?" Nod. Taiyou wasn't convinced, but maybe it was better to just let it slide. And get inside before he could lose all feeling in his fingers, that too.

If he heard Fubuki murmuring to himself something along the lines of 'we'll try again another day', he didn't comment on it.

* * *

"Hey, Taiyou..."

"Mh?"

"Do you know what hissatsus are?"

"Of course! And one day I'll make my own hissatsu! It'll be the best hissatsu ever made and I'll score so many times with it!"

"And how do you want to call it?"

"Mmmmh... I don't know... maybe something like sun power?"

"Maybe..."

"And you? You'll need a hissatsu too! Something super cool that always steals the ball no matter what! Like the best defender ever!"

"... You haven't even seen me play as defender yet..."

"That doesn't matter, I know you'll be super strong! And you have to answer my question too, you know?"

"But I don't know what my defensive hissatsu will be yet..."

"Then we'll practice and make our own hissatsus together!"

* * *

For once, the pain actually had been enough to convince Taiyou to begrudgingly stay in bed and rest for once, his previous plans to sneak out now forgotten in favor of much needed recovery. Not like he'd be able to focus on playing while he was in pain anyways. And so he was stuck in his room with nothing to do other than staring at the ceiling and occasionally glancing at the TV... until the door almost slamming open startled him out of his thoughts, and he barely avoided falling off the bed. To his surprise, it had been Fubuki of all the people to enter, although that wasn't as surprising -and worrying- as the sheer fear and panic on his face.

Before he had a chance to ask what exactly was going on, Fubuki closed the door and scrambled to hide like his life depended on it, gesturing at Taiyou to please be quiet.

When a nurse opened the door, she glanced around for a moment before turning to the -apparent- only occupant of the room.

"Amemiya-kun, have you seen Fubuki-kun?" The child in question only shook his head in clear confusion, although it was more at the sheer oddity of the situation rather than Fubuki's whereabouts. Just what was going on anyways?

Once the nurse decided he was telling the truth and left, Fubuki crawled out from under the bed with a soft cough, sitting on the floor with his back against the frame to regain his breath... Though looking closely, it was hard to miss the way his tiny shoulders were shaking. Whatever happened, it was really bothering him, and that was an understatement.

"Hey, Shirou... are you ok? What happened...?" He didn't miss the way Fubuki flinched at the question, almost as if he had completely forgotten he wasn't alone in the room. Then, the child hugged his knees close to his chest, hiding his face as he murmured something too low to understand. And then came the first sob, followed by a second, louder one, then a third, until it devolved into messy crying, wails shaking his little frame and fat tears drenching his cast and clothes. And Taiyou promptly panicked.

"W-what's wrong?!" Pain be damned, as soon as Fubuki started crying Taiyou had almost jumped out of the bed, kneeling next to his friend to try and calm him down, the fear of a panic attack still fresh on his mind.

"I- I-I don't- want to go to the o-orphanage-" Orphanage...? Oh no. "I-I want m-mom a-and dad and- A-Atsuya-"

Now, Taiyou might be still a kid, but he had been stuck in a hospital long enough to end up overhearing some stuff he shouldn't really know about yet; there were far too many deaths and broken families in that place to not know. Now that he was sitting there, frantically trying to calm down Fubuki when a panic attack seemed more and more likely, he couldn't help but remember all those things, weakly hoping that his assumption was wrong, that there was some mistake, that his one friend wasn't really going to be taken away to be all alone and miserable.

Being taken to an orphanage, unable to go back home, meant accepting that it was real, that his family was truly gone and wouldn't come back, no matter how much he cried alone at night or how badly he hoped to see them walk into his room like nothing happened to take him back home.

He couldn't accept this cruel truth, he refused to.

In the end, all Taiyou could do was sit there with him, weakly trying to calm his panicked friend down as he felt himself fight back tears.

When he refused to let Fubuki go back to his room to be all alone and decided to improvise a sleepover in his own room to help him feel better, no one dared to object.

* * *

After all the time it took the staff to just find Fubuki and calm him down enough to not hyperventilate, the doctors decided to not discharge him just yet, to give him more time to be ready for such a drastic change. Taiyou didn't mind this- even though he'd rather not see his friend leave at all. In the following days, he made sure to hang out with Fubuki as much as he could, trying to cheer him up and distract him at the best of his abilities. Despite his best efforts, it didn't seem to be working as well as he hoped- not like he could blame Fubuki, as much as he hated seeing his friend so sad.

Despite all his failed attempts, however, Taiyou still refused to give up, just as stubborn as when he first met Fubuki and decided to slowly drag him out of his shell. It might be a challenge, but he wasn't one to back down so easily, especially when his friend needed him.

"M-maybe the orphanage isn't so bad! There could be more kids that like to play soccer like us!" Fubuki was still hesitant, and it took him a few tries to mutter what he wanted to say loud enough for Taiyou to hear.

"B-but... I'll be alone..."

Ah, so that's what was on his mind.

"That's not true!" The conviction in Taiyou's voice was enough to convince Fubuki to look up, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. At least he wasn't looking so utterly lost and desolated anymore. "Atsuya loved soccer as much as you do, right? Then if you keep playing he'll always be with you! You can play for him too!" Fubuki's eyes widened, as if hearing that made something click inside his mind. Taiyou really hoped his words were helping.

_He's right, you know?_

"And I'll be with you too!"

"... R-really?" The voice at the back of his mind was forgotten for a moment as realization settled in. It felt so silly in hindsight, how could he think that leaving the hospital meant he would never see Taiyou again?

"Yep! When I'll get to leave the hospital I'll come so we can play together again!" His smile was akin to a sun, big, bright and so contagious Fubuki couldn't help but smile a little too.

"Do you... do you promise...?" Taiyou didn't hesitate to nod, then as if he just remembered something, he quickly offered his pinky, patiently waiting for Fubuki to follow. This time he didn't make himself wait.

"I promise we'll stay friends! I'll come visit every time I can and we'll play soccer together!"

"T-then while you're still here I'll come and see you! I promise!"

* * *

"Hey, Taiyou..."

"Mh?"

"Can we go and play soccer before I leave?"

* * *

When the day came for Fubuki to leave for good for the orphanage, he didn't fight or panic as much as the first time. The tears were still there, impossible to get rid of no matter how much he tried, but this time he simply and quietly agreed to let the tired social worker take him there.

Not before saying goodbye to his only friend, though.

When he quietly came into his room to say goodbye, Taiyou could still see the always present sadness in his smile as clear as the day, but now there was something more to it, something he wasn't quite sure of how to name. It almost looked like acceptance.

Fubuki might not be ready just yet to accept what happened, this sudden tragedy that killed a part of him with his family, but maybe, just maybe, he was on the right path. Maybe one day he'd be able to let go of that burden so heavy on his heart and heal, to truly smile without any hint of sorrow.

Taiyou would be looking forward that day, the day they could play soccer again without a care in the world, without any illness or grief to hinder them and try to drag them down, only worrying about having fun and scoring, improving and honing their skills to their maximum potential. Maybe they'd even get to participate in the Football Frontier if they kept trying, even if that might just be wishful thinking on his part.

It would be nice to dream of a day like that.


End file.
